Envy. Jealousy. The act of coveting something of another. It is dark and ugly.
But human.
Jealousy is a valid part of our experience that has evolved over thousands of years for a reason.
But “it is bad” and we “shouldn’t do it”.
How’s that working out? Does that stop you from feeling green when you see another’s success and compare it to yours? Nope.
Just, nope.
That being said, is it healthy? Do the covetous feelings make you feel warm and fuzzy? Nope to that too.
Art is a form of human expression that often uses a raw material to create something important, beautiful, or meaningful. Then, as artists, we share what we create in the hopes that it will touch peoples’ lives and ultimately change their experience.
So how do we take a raw emotion like jealousy and make it beautiful?
- Call it what it is. As an actor I can feel jealous of another’s roll, confidence, initiative, creativity, or success. Now as a writer, I’ve opened up a whole new level of ugly. I can’t even enjoy a good book without that nagging feeling inside saying “wish I wrote that”. But it is natural. It is what it is.
- “Witness” that feeling and let it go. It’s not always about you. That’s one of the most liberating concepts you can absorb in life. As it says in a quote that has been falsely attributed to Buddha but that I love all the same, “…gracefully let go of things not meant for you.”
- Take away with you the wisdom. What part of that person’s journey can inform your own? Why have your emotions flared up to flag that moment as one to pay attention to? Has it motivated you to move forward on your journey? Is there a positive way in which to see the success of another?
- Then verbalize: “This moment has inspired me because…” As seen in Lesson One, it is not necessary to always judge a moment, deciding that it must relate to you in some way. You could actually just say “that’s awesome” and go get a cup a tea. That’s it.
These objects of our jealousy are great moments smothered in negativity. Let’s make them positive! Chose to share in the moment, bask in it, let it change you. Let it lift you up. Be happy for one another. You can let it pull you forward. Never underestimate the power of a healthy level of competition. These kind of goals that pull you into action are what actors call objectives (we’ll talk about those later). But it takes just as much energy to be positive than it does to be negative. Chose wisely. How brightly your star shines depends on it. Our world needs us all to be bright so that we may change our experience together for the better.
Let’s make something beautiful.