Preparing for the Performance – When 50% is 100%

There is a moment for us all.

That moment when we need to step up, put ourselves out there, and be present.  But we all have a threshold.  Perhaps just walking out your front door makes your heart flutter.  For others it’s the dreaded social occasion when you fear being alone in a room of people.  For some it is promoting oneself in a professional setting.   We feel threatened and unable to cope.  To reduce the perceived threat and break the moment down into a manageable experience, we need to shift the perspective.

In the moment of crisis you feel you are incapable of handling, ask yourself:

“What is being asked of me?”

Here are some tips on coping with the ‘Moment’ by changing a crisis into a question that can be coped with.

1. Failure is a feeling.  Address this first.  Biggest piece of advice?  Get over it.  You are awesome.
2. Learn to love people.  They are not all evil and out to make your life horrible.  Otherwise Gotham would be real.  Most people do not go about their day wishing for your failure, your mortification, or your demise.  Love them.  Wish them well.  Assume they wish the same for you.  If you stop thinking everyone is a threat it will help you feel less threatened.
3. Be curious.  Instead of seeing situations as threatening imagine feeling curious.  What new amazing experiences are in store?  What beautiful discoveries, what learning opportunities, what incredible feelings lie waiting for you in the moment.
4. Believe you have the right to be there.  Enough said.  Can we stop with the I’m not worthy stuff?  It’s old.  You absolutely are worthy.
5. Breathe and listen.  We have worked on strategies for breathing and relaxation.  We  have worked on changing our perspective to see our roles in our One Story as positive and meaningful.  Stick with those lessons and practice.
6. You are only 50% of the scene.  Quit thinking you own 100% of the responsibility for how it turns out.  We will work on strategies for how to play your part because without you coming to the scene with substantial offers, the scene will not be ideal.  But stop thinking life is all under your control!  Trust that bringing 100% positive energy and serious preparation is the only 100% you are responsible for.
7. What is the question?  Crisis!!  You’re freaking out.  Turn those feelings of anxiety into a question:  Do I want to go to school or work full time?  Can I make good connections at this meeting?  How do I survive this party going alone?  Do I try something new and risk failure or not try at all?   Next, plan actions that will help you move forward.
8. Have an objective.  That is your action.  Give yourself a goal for the moment to focus on.  Make it active and achievable.  For example “I’m going to connect with new people at this party.  I challenge myself to get 2 business cards, give 3 compliments, and learn 4 things I didn’t know an hour ago.”
9. Do it for the person who didn’t want to come.  A well known, talented actress once told us theatre students this one.  Nicola Cavendish was reminding us to show up to a moment with our biggest energy, our best performance, and our most brilliant attitude for the person that needs it most.  You never know when your journey will affect another’s in the best way possible.

“You cannot rehearse the play.  You can only prepare for the performance.” 

(said my theatre teachers)

Let’s start by

• Identifying those moments that we feel in crisis
• Look for what is being asked of you
• Then make a choice and take action

And remember when asked to make a choice, “I don’t know” is not an answer.  Today you can decide not just to survive but to thrive.